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Monday, June 14, 2010

If Only This Wasn't Real Life......If Only It Wasn't MY Life As told to Dottie Taylor



Chapter One, My Life

To quote Jessica Simpson:  "These boots are made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do.  One of these days these boots are gonna to walk all over you."

This is how I feel, at least today anyway.  I feel like I've been walked on, kicked about, and stomped hard just for good measure.  This is the day my boyfriend told me "I don't wanna be mean, but uh.... I don't think we should date anymore.... " as I'm walking into football cheerleading tryouts.  With the judges sitting six feet away from me as tears threaten to streak down my face, leaving rivulets of mascara in their place.  I wanna puke.

What the heck!  Three weeks before prom and he doesn't want to be mean?  Can you think of a meaner thing to do?  Especially as I'm walking into tryouts?  And guess why.  No sooner did he break up with me, and he's sitting on the school bus, touching tonsils with my now evil nemesis, Kelly.  To make matters worse, if they can actually get worse, everyone on the bus starts texting me, "OMG!!!  Aren't you dating Dan?"  Twenty-five text messages in ten minutes.  Now what do I say.  I ignore most of the texts, except from my best friend Emmie, who I immediately text back with a gigantic "NO!!!"  And can you believe just a week ago Kelly asked me to help make the Cheer Squad?  And I did.  Now, I have to stare at her through every one of the basketball games next season.  This is too unreal.

Not that Dan cares, he and Kelly, and everyone else on the bus is off on a week long trip.  The reward for being part of the Singer Showcase Performers.  I should have known better than to become involved with a Drama King.  I should have known that he was schizophrenic from the start.

I rush home to tell my mom that she just wasted three hundred dollars on a prom dress I'm never going to wear.  Even if I get another date, this was the dress I was going to wear with Dan.  And now Dan has dumped me.  I can never look at the dress again and not think of him.  I wonder what the return policy is on prom dress?  Well, anyway, Mom's gonna kill me.

As I crash through the front door, I scream "Mom, I'm not going to prom!"  Then I burst into tears, if you cry, moms hardly ever scream back at you.

Except for my mom.  "What do you mean 'you're not going to prom'?  You know how much that dress cost?  What happened?"  So, I tell her the whole awful story down to Kelly and Dan giving each other throat exams on the school bus and the hundreds of text messages I've received.  And how I can't go back to school, not with everyone watching Dan and Kelly trying to swallow each other faces.  We'll have to move to some place far, far away, preferably, another galaxy.  The humiliation will be intense.

"Well, honey, maybe someone else will ask you?"  Three weeks before flipping prom....she's delusional.  And the dress....I can't bring myself to look at the dress, much less wear it.  Ever.

(check back for the continuing story)

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