Curses! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale by J.A. Kazimer

Publisher: Kensington Books
Pages: 320

(Released: March 1, 2012)

From the Cover:

I'm no hero. In fact, up until a couple of days ago, I was the villain. Kidnapped maidens, scared kids, stole magic tchotchkes—until I got into a little scrape with the union. Now I'm cursed with the worst fate in New Never City—no matter what I do, I gotta be nice.

So when a head-case princess named Asia barges into my apartment and asks me to find out who whacked her stepsister, Cinderella, I have no choice but to help her. And I'm more than willing to head back to her parents' castle and do some investigating if it means I can get into her black leather cat suit. Except this twisted sister has a family nutty enough to send the Biggest Baddest Wolf running for the hills—and a freaky little curse of her own. . .

"More than f***ed-up. Demented. Hilarious." —Mario Acevedo, author of Werewolf Smackdown

RJ (better known as the evil Rumpelstiltskin to all of us fairytale readers) has been thrown out of the Villain's Guild, and cursed to do nothing but good and who turned him in... but his own villainous ex-wife, Natasha and ex-worst friend, the Frog Prince. With nothing better to do and forced by his own cursed existence of the do-gooder, he can't deny Anastasia when she comes to him for help solving the murder of her sister, Cinderella. To do so, they'll have to leave New Never City and return to the kingdom of Maledetto, and Asia's own cursed existence.

RJ is hit with everything from rancorous words to flying fists in his bid to help the gorgeous, and ever expanding, Anastasia... who needs to break her own curse. He's accused of murder, eight times over, and he has to defeat a stupid Prince Charming, his own ex-wife who doesn't have his best interests at heart (until a flaming pink arrow stops her), and a king and queen who are out to do each other in. IF he survives poison toads, near drowning, being blown up, and other attempts on his life (possible attempts on his life, anyway), can he solve the murder of Cinderella? And help Anastasia with her own little problems?

Curses! by J.A. Kazimer is the story of a fairytale that goes way wrong... I mean around the corner, down the street, then squished by a bus wrong... (oh, wait, that was Cinderella, lol). With the murder of Cinderella, Charming must ask the only sister left, Drusilla, the uglier Maledetto sister to become his bride, because, he must (even as his gay other self) be the true king. The only problem with Charming's idea is that he's his own worst enemy. Is he the one who purchased the bluebird, Gretel, who led Cindi to her death? And what about Hansel and Missy (the gingerbread witch), would he use his own bluebird sister, Gretel, to kill Cinderella? There are so many questions, and so little time (and pages) to solve the riddle. There are even questions concerning RJ's pretty princess, Asia. Could she be the one who murdered Cindi? And if she did, why hired RJ to solve a crime where she obviously already knows the culprit? (And also, is she trying to kill RJ?)

Curses! is a rollicking fantasy ride through a demented mind of fairy tale creatures (and their storyteller). It's funny when it's politically incorrect to be. I found myself, at times, laughing out loud, and then it almost the next sentence, cringing while peeking out of my squinted eyes, unbelieving. If you want a wild ride through the Brothers Grimm, then this is the book for you. If you like the bad guy reversing his role to become the good guys (sort of), then give this book a try. It's hilariously funny in a different sort of way. Fairy tales lovers (and I include myself in this category) will want to give this one a try, it's a mangled telling of a favorite, the story of Cinderella and what happens after the fairy godmother. Five out of five fairy (tale) kisses for this reader.

I received my copy of Curses! from the author for review. All opinions expressed are my own.