Fallen Children

I wasn't going to blog about this, but it's been a long week here in my little rural community. We've all been upset. We are a small community of just over 3000 people; we all know each other. And our hearts are breaking. A few months ago, our local National Guard Unit was sent to Iraq and then Afghanistan. I know lots of communities have seen their units off to do service in the Mideast. Our unit is a small unit filled with boys and girls from the surrounding communities. The National Guard was created to protect our borders, it was never met to be deploy our seas. At least, that was always my belief.

But news reached our community early this week that one of our boys lost their life in Afghanistan. He was a boy, not even a man yet. He graduated with my son, Kris, just last year in 2008. He was actually a few days younger than Kris. I know his mother, I see her in the grocery store, and I always ask how Garrick is, what is plans are. Kris and Gerrick went to cub scouts and boy scouts together. Played on the same ball teams together. Attended classes together. I'm sorry but this is very hard to get my head around. When I first heard, I thought it had to be a mistake, Gerrick's this huge, healthy kid. How could anything have happened to him?

I've been trying not to think about it all week, but today I have to go to the Sullivan High School where his memorial is being held. I've been trying not to cry all week. My eyes have been burning with tears that I've been trying not to shed. I was one of his boy scout leaders, I cannot not go to his memorial. But, I keep wanting to scream that it just not right, not fair. He just graduated High School for Heaven's sake, he hasn't had a chance to live yet. Why?

I pray everyday that Iraq and Afghanistan will resolve and our boys will be brought home. Gerrick is not the only boy I know currently in the Mideast. I dread that others will be lost as well. Please bring them home, Iraq was a wasted war and Afghans don't want us there either. It's not that I don't support the boys and girls serving, because I do, I honor them for their service. It's just time for us to stop asking them to give their lives for a battle that will never be finished.

I just needed a place to vent and to get this out of my head. It doesn't matter if no one reads this, that's okay. I wanted to talk to someone about it, but every time I try, I want to cry instead. I have felt horrible all week, and now I feel a little better. Not much, but a little. Thinking about it has been so draining, I feel worn out and tired. But at least I've been able to let some of it out. Now I have to go see Gerrick's mother and try not to cry some more; this time I know I will be unable to succeed.