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Crimson Romance

Crimson Romance
For the best in romance, from sweet to naughty!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Monday Morning Flash Fiction Challenge, Week 16..... The Friday Post

Well, blog buds, our internet has been down allllll freaking day.  It came up a couple of times, but was back down before anyone could truly get online!  I love it!  LOL  So, here it is 10pm and I'm posting my response to the Monday Morning Flash Fiction Challenge....  Here's the dark image for the last prompt....

Jack and Jill
By Dottie Taylor
word count: 580

“Honey, are you sure you know where you're going?” Jill asked for the fifteenth time in last hour.

“Damnit, I know where I am, it's this freaking fog, it's like pea soup... can you see if that's the turnoff up ahead?” Jack asked, tired of her questions.

“Don't see a turnoff, don't see anything.” Jill replied, she was growing tired of being trapped in this cage of a car, it seemed like hours and hours now. She rubbed her forehead, a dull ache was starting.

“Shit!” He almost didn't see the stump, and those damn crows, were they following them?

Jill braced her hand against the hard dash, as Jack mashed down on the brakes, and the car became a red blur as it started to slide.

It fishtailed sideways flying around in a circle, bouncing into the stump, back around into middle of the pavement, coming to a jerking halt as the car slammed into a telephone pole.

Jack's heart pounded, THUD, THUD, THUD.... he glanced over at Jill. “Are you okay?.... Jill, honey, are you okay?!”

Jill stared unseeing out the cracked windshield, part of the pole impaled into her flesh.

“Omigod, Jill!” Jack cried desperately, his hands shaking as he dropped his head to the steering wheel. He had to get out, had to get help. He tried prying his door open, the stump had hit on his side, the pole on Jill's side. Finally, the door groaned open with a dull crack as the fog absorbed the sound.

Jack climbed from the wreckage as his head spun, he felt light headed. He leaned into the car, they passed a town five miles back, he'd make his way to it.

Jack started to walk, each step weighted, and the fog began to thicken until he couldn't even see his hand when he waved it in front of him. He started to panic, when he felt a hand slip into his. Looking down, he saw the long slender pale fingers twining with his. He glanced up and Jill laughed.

“I thought you were going to leave me back there.”

Jack began to shake, his body quaked as he tried to pull away.

“Hey, what's wrong with you?” Jill wondered as he pulled harder.

“You're... You're... dead!” Jack gasped when his lips would work again.

“Silly, I'm not the only one. See?” Jill pointed back at the car.

Jack turned and gazed back. “No, No, No....” As he looked at the car, the crows descended batting their wings and calling. Inside the car two bodies laid slump together, Jack and Jill.

Jack felt the panicked laughter bubbling up and out of his mouth.

“Jack and Jill went up a hill
and then, around the bend.
Jack and Jill took a spill,
and died at the end.”

Jill pulled his hand, “Not even funny, do you know how many times I've heard that awful rhyme?”

Jack's voice quivered with maniacal laughter as he followed Jill. “Doesn't really matter now, does it?”

Together they walked through the fog, until neither one could be seen.

In the morning, crews came to repair the downed line, phone service had been out all night. They discovered the bodies of Jack and Jill, hands twined, and when they listened to the silence, they could hear an eery laughter ringing out in the morning air.

Now on foggy nights, drivers beware, Jack and Jill still can be found, hand in hand, going up the hill.

Really dark, lol, but I couldn't resist letting my sick sense of humor take over, ghosts and hauntings be here!

Remember to join us next Monday for another edition of .....

Monday Morning Flash Fiction Challenge!!



Blodeuedd said...

Here is mine

Nice story Dottie, poor peeps, I do like that humour of yours

Michelle Greathouse said...


I love it. :) It is awful that they died - but it appears that they will stay together anyway. :)


Unknown said...

Hi B!

The picture just reminded me of getting lost in the fog, I've been lost in the fog, scary! And then I thought of Jack and Jill nursery rhyme and falling down and breaking their crowns. All leading to the crash and ghosts. Who know an innocent rhyme would lead to this?


Dottie :)

Unknown said...

Hi Michelle!

Almost didn't get this posted lol! They do seem to be spending eternity together... I wonder if she's still pestering if about knowing the right direction? LOLOL


Dottie :)

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